Wait Forever
by mYkah jade
Summary: Gabriella reevaluates her feelings courtesy of a song. ::Troyella


I've been meaning to have a Troyella story since forever now but this is the only time that I came up with a good enough idea to write a story. The characters aren't mine. I wish they were though so I'd be filthy rich right now. haha ü

Anyway, I hope you enjoy this one.

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Wait Forever

_Standing on the great divide_

_Feel the sudden need to fly_

_Underneath the open sky_

_And the river down below_

I sit here in front of my computer trying to look up the title and the artist of the song currently playing. This is a new song. At least for me. I don't think I've heard it on the radio or anywhere else for that matter. I wonder…how did this end up in my play list? Aha! Wait Forever by Gary V. Who's he? Hmmm…I think I now know how this ended up here. Marie.

_I could keep on running down_

_I could keep on cheating death and yet somehow_

_It al ends up the same_

_And I don't want to be the one who's blamed_

Oh great. The words just shot itself right through me. Note to self: never let your cousin reformat your play list. You'll end up hearing songs that force you to reevaluate your feelings about him. But stupid Gabriella, your cousin would never intentionally cause you that sentiment. How could she, when you don't confide in her about these feelings you have. In fact, you don't confide in anybody at all. Even to Taylor who actually has a clear inkling of it all. Why must you bottle it up Gabriella? Great. Now I'm talking to myself. I'm pathetic.

_Can you see that I don't really have a choice at all_

_If only for a taste of flight_

_I'd gladly take the fall_

How does this song just penetrate right through me? I hate that I'm so vulnerable right now. Ugh! Blame it on hormones, anything. Why do I feel this way? How does the song figure out that I indeed would gladly take the fall? Whatever. It's not like he'll be there to catch me anyway. I mean, why would he? I'm just Gabriella. Just a girl whom the fates have accidentally pushed towards the hottest guy ever. Just a girl lucky enough to obtain his friendship. Add to that, I'm a freaky math girl. See my life, it's not exactly the fairytale was hoping for.

_So I say I love you_

_I don't wanna wait forever_

_Just to say I need you_

_Doesn't even have to matter_

_If it really matter anything to you_

Yeah, easy for you to say…er, sing that. Say I love you. Pfft. If I do he'll just laugh at me along with everybody else. Our relationship would strictly be held in the friendship bars only. No more and hopefully no less. Though I desperately want to be more, what can I do? I love him, I need him but it's only a one way ticket.

_I'd gladly take this ride_

_As long as you are there on the other side_

_Not making sense at all_

_Of making sense of it all_

In my dream of dreams, I do see him on the other side. In reality? I don't know. I suppose it's not possible. Don't ask me why. It's just not possible okay? True, I'm not making sense at all. I'm desperately not making sense of it all. These feelings inside, they're cunning. Right from the start, they had me chained. Inch by inch they grow on me. That and until I cannot just simply turn back and erase it all. No I can't just say I'll stop loving him because it's not as easy as that. I've fallen hard. No denying that.

_So while I can, I'll take the chance_

_I'm diving in_

_If you need me, I will die_

_To feel alive again_

Well, what can I say? I've already dived in and now I'm in the deepest trench. Gawd! Why must it be this hard? I have been in denial for so long that now that I've become honest with myself, I feel like some sort of chain has been removed freeing my life support. I know it's wrong to feel this way but my heart won't hear any of it. It insists only on its own ideas. Why must I have a contradictory heart and brain?

_So I say I love you_

_I don't wanna wait forever _

_Just to say I ned you_

_Doesn't even have to matter _

_When I say I love you_

I'll be truly honest with myself again, to set it all straight. I've fallen in love with him. Big time. There's no going back. Though I'm hurting because I'm pretty sure my love won't measure up to him, I still continue with my feelings. I'm just me. The most I can give is my love. He seems to mistake it as only friendship though. Well, what else can I do? It works that way. The cosmos won't change for me and my petty feelings.

_I'm falling like _

_I've never done so before_

_I'm flying against the wind_

_And here I go_

I've been falling and falling, flying and flying against the wind. What a battle. And I'm still alive? A lot of people say that when you become honest with yourself, the rest will just follow. I don't think I believe that. Why? Look at my situation now. I've already been honest with myself. I've admitted to myself that I'm in love with him. But where has it got me? I'm still here stuck. It's even harder because I have to battle out my emotions as to not let him have an inkling of it.

_So I say I love you_

_I don't wanna wait forever_

_Just to say I need you_

_I don't wanna wait forever, no (I say I love you)_

_So while I can I'll take the chance_

_So I'll say I need you_

_Doesn't even have to matter_

_When I say…_

Isn't it that when you admit on a feeling, it gives you more confidence to believe in it? In my case, it's completely the opposite. I'm all in my wits end. The more I acknowledge the feeling, the more I'm afraid of it. The more I want to kill it, forget about it. But I know I can't do that. Contradictory heart and brain, remember? Why must I be abnormal? Sometimes, I just envy Sharpay. No not the looks nor the popularity but her confidence. She has tons of it to move the entire school. If only I could steal a gram of it so I could finally get over and be done with my situation.

_I love you so (I love you) I need you_

_It doesn't really matter (no, doesn't really matter)_

_If it really matters anything to you_

_I love you…_

I love you Troy.

Now how am I going to say that to him face to face?

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